No one ever said adulting would be easy. Nor did anyone say being a working mom would be easy. Some might imply that it is easier than what I would like to admit, but still, it’s not easy. I’ve been struggling with the work-life balancing act as a mom the last couple of weeks, so I went and read up about how to simplify things. Here are a few things that proved to be helpful (and also reassuring in a way):
There’s no such thing as work-life balance
To come to terms with the fact that there actually is no such thing as a work-life balance, was both scary and exhilarating. It took off so much pressure from my mommy shoulders. With kids, not one day is the same. Consider rather looking at your work-life balancing act as a work-life harmony. Every day, there is a certain flow between life’s obligations (including being a mom) and keeping your business going or keeping up with work responsibilities. So, find a way for things to harmonise.
Let go of mom guilt
I am so guilty of mom guilt. But, I’ve found that feeling guilty just makes things worse and it clouds your judgement. So, stop it. Let it go.
Schedule and plan strategically
Write that article while you’re waiting for your child at the play therapist or violin lesson instead of watching Netflix. Plan your outfits the evening before to allow yourself a more peaceful morning (or more time to get the kids sorted before school). Prepare the kids’ (and dad’s) lunch boxes the night before. Do grocery shopping or run quick errands during your lunch break to give yourself more time for work. Plan next week in that last half an hour on a Friday to allow yourself peace of mind over the weekend, which will eventually allow you to spend more quality time with your family.
Have a backup plan
We’ve just been through a very rough time with both kids being sick (Elian was in hospital for six nights and Catha was sick at home for another week). Then, to top things off, I got sick. I hate being sick, because as a mom, there’s no time for being sick. Which is why a good nanny is worth so much more than I could ever imagine. Find someone who loves your kids like you do and hold on tight! It might be difficult, but if you can find someone who looks after your kids exclusively, all the better. That saves you the trouble of having to find someone else when your go-to nanny is not available.
Do regular date nights
Wikus and I let date nights slip way too often. Date nights allow you and your partner to connect, to make sure you’re still on the same page when it comes to work-life harmony and also to iron out possible differences when it comes to raising kids. Make it a must.
When I don’t have a list, I struggle to focus and prioritise and the whole day just seems to fall apart. Plan ahead, use calendars and make lists. There are so many planning and scheduling apps out there these days, you’re bound to find one that suits your needs. I am still pretty old-school when it comes to organising and I make use of a bullet journal. There are bullet journal apps too, though. Have a look at Trello, Taskade or NotePlan.
I am a huge fan of decluttering, especially after reading the book, Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne, M.Ed with Lisa M. Ross. Declutter your home and your life and say yes to less. I have found that when my desk is cluttered, I can’t think straight. Same goes for when my life is too busy with too many things to attend to or when our home is too cluttered. Find ways to use the extraordinary power of less to be calmer and happier, but also to raise calmer, happier and more secure kids.
Lower your self-expectations
This goes hand in hand with mom guilt. I am very strict with myself when it comes to being the perfect mom, the perfect wife and the perfect entrepreneur and business woman. That’s why things are often tougher than what they should be. Even though I like it (and it makes me feel more organised and on it) when our home is clean and tidy, it doesn’t always have to be perfect.
Learn to delegate
Also, I quickly realised that I can’t do it all by myself. I had to learn (and I am still learning) to delegate, which is difficult for someone like me who likes certain things to be done in certain ways. Still, the skill of delegation is an important skill for any leader and being a good mom often means being a good leader. So, learn to delegate not only to lessen your burden, but also to grow into the Godly mom, wife and business leader you were destined to be.
Do you have any tips and ideas on how to get a better work-life harmony? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments below as I would LOVE for this post to provide as much momspiration as possible. 🙂